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Sometimes it’s better for two people not to marry each other.They would both be happier married to other people—it’s that simple.After all, seems to want most of us to be married (Genesis ; Proverbs ; 1 Corinthians 7:2, 9). The reality is that good, Christ-exalting relationships very often fail before the ceremony, never to be recovered romantically.The pain cuts deeper and lingers longer than most pain young people have felt in their lives. It’s one of the hardest things for me to write or speak about: the pain of intimacy that fell short of matrimony.It’s the idea that something is better than nothing.” Several years ago, “Jessica,” a visual artist (who asked that her real name not be used), was involved with a guy she describes as “perfect.” He was older, smart, charming, successful and extremely nice.“But after three years, the only thing we had in common was each other,” she says. There’s no way I can sit here and tell you precisely what to do; That’s a call that you alone have to make… However, there are certain issues in a relationship that are deal breakers and when you run into one of these that one question pops into your mind “Do I break up or do we work it out?In two separate relationships the two exact same situations can mean two completely different things.

This doesn’t mean every dating relationship should end in marriage, but it does mean breakups will hurt.Perhaps they’ve formed a relationship for the wrong reasons.But even when the motives are right, a relationship still might not have that “spark” that impels toward marriage. However, many people assume there a third alternative and try to keep the relationship alive when all signs of vitality have ceased.By developing and exercising compassion, a person can—without unpleasantness or emotional devastation—end a dating relationship that needs to end, and turn the experience into an important step toward developing another relationship that result in marriage.

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He was kind, sweet, funny, a real charmer—essentially, everything that I could have wanted in a guy, right down to a pair of amazing cheekbones.

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